Radical Honesty

Throughout history there have been numerous double agents and spies. Many books have been written about them and many movies. But the picture they paint is not accurate in one important aspect: Pretending is very hard. To pretend to be someone else takes a severe mental toll, even more so when the role that you play is in direct contrast with your true self. Many double agents crack under the pressure and they frequently become insane. The hardest part is not to escape scrutiny, rather it is to lead a double life without forgetting who you are on the inside.

This psychological strain is experienced in a lesser or greater degree every time we aim to deceive. All of you know that it requires a much larger amount of energy to keep track of your lies and maintain a convincing façade. So pure logic maintains that one tells the truth as far as possible and only deceive when the benefits outweigh the increased upkeep costs.

There is also the factor of reputation to consider: if you are caught out too many times people become suspicious and pay more attention to your actions. This heightens the probability that your deception will fail. A useful analogy would be that you have a certain number of chances for people not to believe you before your reputation becomes tarnished. Time can restore chances, but a totally trustworthy reputation is very hard to regain.

People are innately helpful and will try to help you attain the goals that they perceive you to be pursuing. If you broadcast intentions that are not aligned with your actual needs, then many opportunities will be missed. There is a practically infinite realm of possibilities and it is impossible to consider them all. Only those that promise the best return on investment are likely to be pursued and brought under the attention of family or acquaintances. If none of your friends think you might like to go to a rock concert they will not even bother to tell you about it.

If you show your intentions, other people with similar goals will get to hear about you and many synergistic exchanges have the potential to happen. People with conflicting intentions will then steer clear of you and both parties will be prevented from wasting their time on dead ends. You attract deep connections and repulse shallow ones. People who hold you back fade from your life. You end up with interactions that are much more useful and fun. A life that is so much more satisfying.

Free up a lot of energy for the rest of your life, find more peace of mind, build a reputation for integrity, enable people to help you and help them and live a more fulfilling life. It really is worth it.

To happiness, and beyond!


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