You can’t tell me who to be

You can’t tell me what I like, you can’t tell me what to think, you can’t tell me what to do, you can’t tell me who I want to be. You can try – most people try to tell other people who to be – but only I can decide who I am, where I want to go and what I would like to do. As long as I do not harm other people I am morally in the right (in my opinion). What do you think?

People try very hard to make you believe that you have to be who they want you to be. Don’t believe them. The worst that can happen when you do not follow their instructions is that they unfriend you. Which would mean that they do not really want to be friends with you, they only want to be friends with the person they want you to be. They want to be friends with an empty shell that does not decide for itself and only follows other people’s orders. They do not want a friend, they want a servant. Is that the type of friends you want?

Being a servant is not so bad: you have no choices, but also no responsibilities. You live mindlessly, unconsciously and for someone else. Congratulations! You have now become a child like you always wanted to. Adult life and adult responsibilities were too hard, so you gave them up and became dependent again. Don’t forget to buy yourself a dummy to suck on.

The same pattern reasserts itself: Live unconsciously with no choices and no responsibilities or take command, be responsible and live your own life. Conform and do what everybody else is doing or go against the flow to make your own way. Life has many different streams that move at different speeds and go in different directions. If you keep moving with the flow you will always stay in the same stream. If you go against the flow then the stream around you changes or you move out of it and join another stream.

Your way will often align with someone else’s, a stranger that was once in the same place as you, or moved in the same stream. If you seek those people out and modal them you will be able to progress much faster by not reinventing the wheel. Don’t reinvent the wheel (basic systems), but find someone who can show you how to build a bike (advanced systems for living).

There are many ways to be successful and many ways to be happy. Don’t go on thinking that there is only one. Try on different perspectives and find what makes YOU happy. If you do what someone else likes and can’t understand why you are not happy, remember that people are not identical: different strokes for different folks.

Do not exclude valuable council from people who have a lot of wisdom, just make the decisions yourself. Make choices and accept full responsibility for the consequences. Do not ask other people’s consent for your choices; make them and then inform those people who you feel would want to know. You do not need other people’s permission to live your own life.

To happiness, and beyond!

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