You MUST judge people

Evaluate your friends because you will become more like them. They will influence your habits, thoughts and actions. You will become them, and they will become you. Do not judge people and be friends with every random person that you meet. Say to the universe that you don’t really care who your friends are, any random person will do.

Do not judge people and they will stand in the way of your dreams and cause you a lot of trouble. Everybody judges; It is impossible to have an effective life without judging people. Many people will profess not to judge, but they do, only in private and then they hide it from other people. Or they can judge less, only judging on some occasions and reserving judgement on the others. But this is not a good idea.

Not judging people is like not deciding: literally impossible. You only can delay decisions or change them. Giving your decisions to other people is a decision. In the same way that people have to decide, people have to judge. People have to judge to live a happy life.

I divide judging people into 2 categories: Judging as a person and Judging as a friend. Judge someone as a person to decide whether the person is a good or bad person. (No person is just good or just bad; goodness or badness depends on your perspective.) It is very stupid to judge someone as a person, because nobody is perfect and telling someone that they are bad will not make them better.

When judging someone you can look at: How their behavior influences their own life (Smoking damages your lungs); The influence on other people and their lives (Assaulting people harms them physically and emotionally); How well they are succeeding at their own goals (Goal: Eat healthy, Reality: fast food daily) or the goals that other people impose on them (Status or materialism). You will only know how good the person is in these aspects, but this does not provide you with any information for you to decide whether to be friends with this person will make you happier or will make you sad.

Judge on this factor for your social circle: the effect on your own long- and short term happiness. I see happiness as the most important factor in any situation in life, so do not keep people who make you unhappy in your social landscape.

Happiness means different things to different people. If you like feeling superior to other people, you should surround yourself with people who are on a lower level. They will have a negative effect on your own development. As with most things in life, it is a balancing game. Transcend the need to feel superior; surround yourself with people who have more mastery and mimic them. Their behavior and habits will pull yours in an upwards direction. Embrace the feeling of having less skill, it does not matter where you are on the scale, only the direction of your movement. Good role models give you massive boosts when you mimic their behavior and get the same results.

Do not judge people on genetic characteristics which they cannot change. People do not choose what natural hair color is, or what their skin color is. Filter your group for culture, intelligence, musical ability: filter for people who have achieved your goals. The cultural clashing that happens when you hang out with other cultures can be eliminated at the cost of diversity. Making friends with people who do not share the same interests is stupid, both you and the other person will feel bored. Find people who follow what you are saying easily and without you having to explain everything, then both parties will benefit.

Do not judge people because you think you are a better person, judge for your compatibility needed for a meaningful connection: similar interests, skills or worldviews you have in common. Do not build relationships with people that can never go very deep and leave both parties unsatisfied. Reject people who are not compatible, you only have limited resources.(Dunbar’s number)

Judge only people on compatibility – on the effect on they have on your happiness.

To happiness, and beyond!

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