I want to cuddle

I want to touch and whisper and laugh. I want to kiss a girl who wants to kiss me. I want to look into that girl’s eyes as if they are the only eyes in the world.  I want to be, will be, am happy. I enjoy life and I want to enjoy a more intimate relationship with a girl who also enjoys life. I want someone intelligent. I want to dance and sing and watch the sunset from the rooftop. It would be a friendship not defined by stereotypical labels. It would be exclusive and honest. I know what I want(at least I think I do) and I will tell you. I will give massages and get them in return. My swearing is low and if you do like a sailor don’t call me.

Smokers are not wanted and neither people who drool over celebrities. I don’t want a head-over-heels romantic fling that leaves both people feeling empty and heartbroken. I don’t want to become blinded by love and act like a puppy. I don’t want to hang out with someone close-minded. Sorry Christians but that DOES include anyone who believes in a all-powerful and all-seeing mystic entity. I don’t want to just tell someone my problems and listen to them whining. I don’t want sex, so if you want a fuck-buddy KEEP WALKING. I don’t want someone who goes mad over pets. I won’t be bound by social convention and stupid unwritten laws. I won’t write cards, bring chocolate or ask you out. I won’t take selfies or post never-ending status updates on facebook. I will never wear shoes or a tie(read: noose), but you are welcome to. You can be thin, but if you are anorexic(or compulsive overeater or bulimic), no thanks. Alcoholics are not welcome and I don’t see the point of being drunk.

My name is Joshua Ortlepp Marais. I live in Pretoria, South Africa and am in Grade 11 at Curro College Hazeldean (edit: I have escaped the prison of school). I like debating, hiking and parkour(a lot). My home language is Afrikaans(lekker!) but I like to think of myself as fluent in English. I am a utilitarian atheist, see the appeal of religion and have no special hate for god(or dog). My morals are basically not to spoil other people’s fun, you only have one life. I did long distance athletics at school but stopped when practise became torture instead of enjoyment(I don’t like being pushed when I have had enough). I like reading with Terry Pratchett and Wilbur Smith are among my favourite authors. I am really tired and bored by shallow connections and mindless conformists. I might not be one in a million, but I am not common.

If you are a guy a Platonic friendship is totally an option. Most of the above deal-breakers will apply. Don’t contact me if you know we are really not compatible.

Cell: + 27 842657000

E: joshua.marais@hotmail.com

To happiness, and beyond!


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